3 minutes after he dig through his compartment box, he found his wallet, I could see it from the inside of cafe. I don’t mind buying him a coffee, but I don’t want him to feel awkward because I buy him a coffee.
He walked in, ordered and we finally sat down outside. We talked and talked, I talked about my job, he talked about his business. He is the owner of Vodka company, his business just starting to soar. I told him about my job as an Internet Engineer, everything with Internet stuff. Network, websites, help desk, and all that geeky stuff. Then he asked what do I like to do, I froze.
It’s been 5 years I don’t have things “to do” besides work and take care of my household, kid, and umm my ex. We used to go to the park, arcades, zoo and that’s about it. Awkward…. I finally said “Just walk, I like to take pictures since I’m a photographer too” a w k w a r d…
I asked him casual questions such as if he had travel outside US, or what is your plan for your business and such. He talked so calm, so mature, so charming… Then he mentioned he likes to go on snowboarding / skiing, he even said, “we should go there, it would be fun!”
Yes it is almost summer and he is talking about winter already, my heart beats faster. “We…? Oh wow, we? Are we really gonna go that far? It’s not officially summer yet”, I said to my self. “Yes, I want to try. It’s going to be my first time skiing / snowboarding”, I said.
We had a good time, it was only an hour because he has to drop his son somewhere then go to warehouse to take care of his business. We had to say goodbye, even I wish I could spend more time with him. I hugged him, I don’t remember when the last time I feel warm like this, he is tall and he has a great posture, I could tell he works out but not crazy work out. He hugged me and said “it is really nice to see you”.
I walked to my car, he drove off…. I still sitting in my car, thinking about him. 5 minutes passed and I didn’t realize I was in the car for that long and did nothing, just stared at the clear beautiful sky. Beep beep…. I got a text from him!
“It’s nice to see you. You are very attractive” I was staring at my phone, my face is probably red I could feel my face is blushing. I texted him back, “It’s nice to see you too. I’m looking forward to see you again”.
“Sure, I would like that.”, he replied.
“I will see my schedule and will text you tonight”, I blushed again.
Maybe this is how Katie Holmes felt when she met Tom Cruise for the first time? I have crush on him, big time! I rarely have crush on the first sight, very rare!
Finally I got home and texted one of my friend Nicole and told her I met this charming guy. She asked me if I know his last name and asked me to look it up. So I did…
He is a businessman, a vodka owner. Guess what they do? Yep travel everywhere to promote his products, clubs, bars and pool parties. I saw his vodka girls, sales girls… They ALL sexy as you could imagine! 2-piece bikinis, tanned, blonde, skinny girls. Whaaattt? I feel SO under estimated. All of sudden I feel insecure. There is no way I look attractive compare to them! My self esteem just dropped from cloud nine.
That very night I texted him and asked him out sometime next week, I have to look for a baby sitter. I even asked my kid’s teacher if she knows someone who could watch Grace. But he didn’t reply my text. Hmm, maybe he is busy.
One day… Two days…. Three days… GREAT! What were you thinking Naomi?
Day 4, he finally answered my text! What??? He said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. How are you?”
My heart raced, I texted him back right away, “I’m great, just busy at work. So what you been up to besides busy with your business?”.
He never answered me since then. That’s it.. Puff, he’s gone as if he never get my text. I don’t get it, he is so busy and can’t answer my text until now? Maybe he realizes that I am not as good looking as vodka girls. But what about his words? He said I’m attractive? He said he would love to go out again? He was talking about winter stuff together? Are those just bluffing words??? Or I am so far behind that I don’t know what dating people say nowadays?!
I can’t stop thinking about him. He is my crush and one thing I know, I feel happier, I don’t feel sad over my divorce anymore. It feels like my heart got distracted because of him so I don’t sit here and wait and hope that my ex would change his mind.
It was couple weeks before Father’s Day, I finally found this guy online, and we decided to meet up for coffee. His name is Chris, he is a business man, a legit business man! Even though before we met, he mentioned that he is very busy and travel a lot and thinks dating is exhausting. Okay, so what do you expect from this “site”? A friend? Cool, I am up with that too.
It was Sunday’s afternoon, I skipped my church just to see him ha! This is actually my first meet up after my divorce. I feel nervous, I should be there earlier I thought. It was such a gorgeous day… it was beautiful, sunny but not too hot, it was breezy afternoon. I am ready! So I got there 10 minutes before, I ran to the bathroom check my self in the mirror, took a deep breath and walked out and hoped he’ll be there.
"Hmm, he is late..", my mind starting to think if this is a joke? Ugh…. 5 minutes after the time we supposed to meet, I texted him just to make sure I’m at the right cafe.
"Hi, I’m here. It’s on Main st. and 16th st. right?" I texted him.
"O my, sorry I totally spaced it. I am horrible, give me 10 minutes I live near by", he replied.
"Wheew at least he wants to redeem himself and replied my text.", I thought.
He finally got here. I saw the big good looking Jeep car parked. He got out the car… He is tall and so charming. He walked in, his appearance is awfully handsome for a guy his age. He is 10 years older than me, but his face is mix between: Gerard Butler (less rough) and Matthew mcconaughey (somewhat).
My heart skipped a beat… He walked in, I shook his hand, I am too nervous, he smiled and said sorry he is late. Then he got in line to get a coffee, me meanwhile got a coffee already while I was waiting on him.
Then all of sudden, he reached his back pocket… He realized he didn’t bring his wallet. He ran outside and tried to look his wallet inside his car. One minute…. Two minute…. Oh great, now what?
This is Naomi. I am a single mom, a full time worker, and here I am trying to find someone out there that really accept me as who I am, with a kid, and baggage on my shoulders.
I picked “Sleepless in The City” because I love to watch Sex In The City and please don’t compare me Carrie Bradshaw, she is a brilliant writer, crazy stories, but here I am trying to express all my feelings through this journey. Sleepless in Seattle is also inspired me to pick this title, I wonder if someday I could find the one, be romantic, and so sweet. After all, I believe Happy Ever After does exist.
Guess you could tell i have not share my story lately, been pretty “busy” with dates lol. So by the way, I finally gave in to this online dating site. Fortunately Grace’s aunt was visiting and she was willing to watch Grace and I could use a break a litle bit. I met 4 guys in 1 week from POF. I should say it was pretty intense, I meant I took advantage for being free a bit while someone watching Grace.
First Guy I met is Franco, he is an elementary teacher. He is younger than me, he is cool kid. I said “kid” because he lives in his parents house. He is 25 years old and lives with his parents. Though he said he is saving up money to buy a house, I don’t feel attracted to him. We met at this café, this café is order and sit, so when I ordered first I was wondering if he will pay for me.
He did not….
I took out my wallet half way to the cashier then…. Still he didn’t offer me to pay, wait… I thought when the guy asks for a date, he should pay?
Good thing I’m not broke. I pulled my debit card so slow, so slow that the cashier kept looking at me! He was standing there behind me with his order. My thought maybe I should buy him the meal. Ugh hell to the no, I finally paid for my self.
We sat and talked, we were just talking about daily stuff. He told how he loves kids and he likes to be a teacher, he likes to hangout with his cousins and step siblings yada yada..
He asked me what am I looking for from this site. I said that I can’t fall in love that easy and looking for friends now (lame excuse I know).
He asked me what I want to do after this and I said I might grocery shops and do errands. He then said he would love to come along with me.
Excuse me..? We met half hour ago and you want to grocery shops with me?? Now are you gonna ask me to buy your groceries?
So I’ve been talking to this really cool-seeming guy online for the past 2 days and we have a ton in common. I really want to meet him in person, but I’m not going to be the one to say that and I’m worried he won’t initiate anything either… ugh.
2 days is too soon honey. Wait for a week or even more. Then you could bring up something like, “isn’t it funny we get along so well but haven’t meet each other?” kinda thing. He should get your clue ;-)
Preface: This “random free dating advice” is for the men out there who are actually trying to find attractive, educated and independent women to date seriously. I’m not trying to be mean at all; I am just being honest and real.
If you don’t fall in that category, don’t read this rest of this…
Ryan starting to flirtext me, I mean duh we flirt all the time. But hey we met once at the coffee shop, I don’t want to take things too fast. He asked me what I wear, and I like you in skirts, I want to cuddle you, wrap my arms around you (trust me, when he did these text I completely blushing), but he got more graphic about what he wanted.
It’s not I can’t sexting, I’ve done it many times, different guys but just not a person who met once. I don’t feel comfortable to do this. I started to ignore the sexting part and keep the text appropriate.
We still text a lot until one day he stopped texting because I can not hang out with him since no one watch Grace.
He said,”I don’t know when we are gonna hang out again, I think you should look for a regular baby sitter before you look for a date..” Few days later I saw his ad online again. He tweaked his words and added: looking for a free time woman, no baggage or kids.
Damn you, I grumbled. I finally realize he is so not worth it….
It was Friday night, Grace is asleep. I finally sat down in my living room and grabbed my tea. I heard cars and motorcycles’ noise from the road. I was staring on my tablet, I checked my facebook -bored, in fact I lost interest to see people’s life on my news feed anymore.
I opened my Safari and finally got to personal ads. I have no idea why, I just bored as hell. I randomly checked those ads. There is one that caught my eyes, the subject is “City guy looking for someone”.
Wow okay, live in northwest where most people are country lovers, I clicked on that ad since I’m not a country girl. He basically said that he wants to find a woman who has the same interests as him, he lives in downtown, has a job, independent, etc. What caught me is, he didn’t mention anything shallow. He didn’t say that he wants a DD cup with size 4 waist, or tattooes or sex-oriented like other guys who posted their ads there. I thought, this guys is so different. He also mentioned that he is “HWP”.
HWP? What is that? Herpes…Worst…Papylovirus or whatever???? I thought.
I texted him right away…
"Hi, what is HWP?" I feel that must be some sort of STD, I just prepared my self to hear anything. He then answered, "Hi, it is Height Weight Proportionate. How are you? :)"
I was laughing and replied his text, “Omg, I thought it’s kinda Herpes thingy lol. I am so sorry!”
"LOL, no that’s HPV. What’s your name? I’m Ryan", he texted me within few seconds.
Since then we text non stop literally. It was Friday night and we texted all the way until Sunday midnight. We texted so much that I feel I know him already. He is an engineer from this big company, he does Yoga, bike, and eat pretty healthy AND does not drink! Wow, is this like a jackpot or what? Healthy lifestyle, not an alcoholic, and an engineer! Within 2 days we traded our pictures, he looked great for his age, he told me he can’t wait to see me and so do I! My phone froze SO many times because we texted non stop. We flirting like crazy through text, we didn’t even talk on the phone.
We both are turbo texters! I love texting and so does he. He is being honest about many things until I am starting to feel little “too soon” when he starting to sexting…
We all know that online dating sites are growing like a weed. I visited most of them. Most of them we have to subscribe monthly, they cost average about $30/month. It’s PER MONTH! If you get lucky, you might find the one. But hey, Netflix is only $7.99 /month and that could make you feel content and not-so-lonely for years! I hope that they could make it cheaper though, most of us live paycheck by paycheck, another $30/month is rough! There are Match.com, eHarmony, Christian Mingle, and more.
Then, there are free sites. OkCupid, PlentyofFish, and Craigslist. Boy oh boy, they are scarrryyy… Their screen name like “lick69”, “ilikebigbutts” or other nasty names!! It literally scared me and make me gag! Guys, do you really think those names are attractive? I wonder if any girl contact you regardless when your screen name is nasty. I mean, maybe I’m just too naive and innocent. I want a normal guy, not a sex addict yikes. And I wonder too if they really find their true love through those kinda screen names.
I also heard PoF is place where cheaters hang out, okay okay let me make sure, I didn’t say that, 2 of my friends who don’t know each other experienced it, bummer :(.
Craigslist: discreet prostitute! I like to go to CL to find some good deal, one day I just click to personal ads. *gag* I don’t know why guys to take pics of their “thang” and post it up?? It’s gross! Well not that I don’t like. But the way you post your ads just so sick. If you want to get a quick lay, go to the bars and get someone drunk!
I also heard about scam online dating sites. I forgot what they called, and I’m too comfy to google it. There’s a site for professionals, executives, and basically “rich” people. Since I know what I want, I have a career, I wanted to know if success people hang out in one pond so I google “professional dating site”. I went there, then I started to review those sites. So many people gave bad reviews about this site. About how weird when first time they join, there are lots of messages, winks, smiles, and cards from her match. There’s one girl, she felt so happy and got excited. There’s a guy sent her message everyday, but she can’t open it UNLESS she’s a subscriber. She finally subscribed and replied their messages. Not one guy responded! They just gone, never contact her. Since she’s subscribe, all messages are stopped. She wonder if those are bots, to attract people to subscribe. Make sense…
I had that experience too with Christian Mingle. First time I registered, I got so many messages and smiles, I felt popular. But I still not tempted to subscribe, they finally gone. All of sudden, just pufff… Gone. I don’t know if they are robots, or maybe they realized I really don’t look for a serious relationship (yet).
Whoever invented this, I would like to say THANK YOU! I know so many people really abhor online dating. People ask me to go out and have fun, go bar hopping or go to parties, go to church and so on. Let me explain why those don’t work for me:
I feel Bar / Clubs are for fun. Yep, you go there, drink, dress up, and you have to look attractive to attract people. Then, not to mention, alcohol involved. Everything looks “prettier” or hazy when I drink, my mind does not function as suppose to. Met some of them, traded phone numbers but it ain’t go anywhere.
I did this, my coworker invited me to his house warming, I feel great, I am very outgoing person, but when I stepped into his house, they all either couple or too old for me ha! I tried to talk to random people but I got stage fright, weird. I ended up home with no phone numbers. It’s so awkward if I go to people’s party by myself.
Oh how I love church, but ask people phone numbers at church? Ummm from a woman? We all know that church is somewhat still hold that conservative thoughts about “Woman is suppose to be passive, not aggressive”. So I tried to “look around” at church, but the attractive ones usually go with their family, ugh! And I like to sit at front rows because I could focus on what pastor says and worship God passionately, but since when front rows are reserved for seniors and families? Is there a single Christian guy that like to sit in front rows?? I guess not.
So because of those excuses, I finally give an online dating scene a try. I think it would be right for me, I have a full custody of Gracie, I have a career, and I don’t have family around me to help me go out there and hang out with people.
Now I am not going to explain what really happened in my past. I basically had a good marriage with my ex. 5 years we were together, but he got slipped away and hung out with bad associates, he ended up in hole of addiction: alcohol, drugs, prescription drugs, lotteries, porn, and all that. We did not have a physical abuse or a third person.
I tried everything which means I asked him to fix it together but apparently he won’t change a thing.
One day he said he wanted to get separated, I am not allowed to say anything except agree with it. Be it, we were crushed, cried together for days… Yet, he turned completely mentally “unstable”, he posted his naked pictures on Craigslist and look for girls, maxed out all his credit card and won’t pay any of his bills! What a great movement to get rid of me 2 days after he wanted a separation. Then I had to let him go… I had to. It’s time for me to move on.
A little bit about my background, I am 29 years old and I could see my self to be success in the future. People say I’m a career woman, independent and smart. But hey, what all those mean if I don’t have someone to share my life with, except my daughter Grace. But you know what I mean…
Grace is 3 years old, she is amazing, sweet, and a smart girl (her teachers told me so) and I believe that of course and I’m proud of her.
I used to look a single mom as someone that “not-so-worthy” or “why-you-give-up-so-easy” kinda person or “God-hates-divorce-so-why-you-did-it”. I did not like single moms before, I don’t have any sympathy, I never feel sorry for them because I thought, that’s their choice, they chose to be single mom. Until I experienced it….